L i v i n g O n B o r r o w e d T i m e
by addictedtochocolates
Summary: Set in/after iLove You. 'The soft, words linger a while in the cold air, her heart seemingly breaking with every syllable that is echoed in the quiet night sky...'   What happens in the last 5 minutes leading to midnight? SEDDIE ONESHOT.


**Warning: 2 of my closest friends read the draft for this and started crying. So please prepare a box of tissues before reading.**

**DISCLAIMER: Sadly, I don't own iCarly or any of its awesome characters. And unlike an ingenious idea from** seddie. is_.Epic.73_**, I doubt that dressing a 15 year old 1.57m tall Chinese girl as Dan Schneider will go unnoticed by coworkers in Schneider's Bakery. D,:**

**Anyways, please enjoy this fanfic! :D**

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><p>Sam looked at the moon, a gem in the pitch black night sky, from where she was standing at the fire escape, next to a certain brunette technical of iCarly. She felt a pang in her heart as he grasped her hand tightly in his, and her eyes wanders over to the clock tucked neatly in a corner.<p>

11:55

Five more minutes.

Five more minutes till the best days of her life were over. Till she'd look at him and have to pretend that she was over him, that nothing like this had ever happened, that their relationship hadn't existed at all. Till she reverted to making fun of him and calling him names again.

The last one was probably going to be the most—_surprisingly_—difficult and particularly painful. It'd become so easy _not_ to insult him anymore, all the names she'd given him—**Frednub**, _Freddork,_ Fredderly—had all been replaced with names like _Baby_, and so on.

It'd be hard not to be held in his arms anymore, to stop herself reaching out to him and grabbing his hand, to just look in his eyes in peaceful silence, and remember not to share kisses with him in the hallway, and not to set bees on mean teachers for him.

Most of all, it'd be hard not to leave him, _now_.

(It already hurt, even just **_thinking_** about it.)

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><p>11:58<p>

As her eyes involuntarily flickered to the clock once more, she pulled her hand away from his grip, panting a bit to make sure the tears forming didn't fall, and picked up her bag, slinging it over her shoulder.

Her heart caught in her throat as he turned around and watched her, his eyes glassy with tears of his own, pain flickering to and fro, as if he was trying unsuccessfully to 'stay strong'. His warm brown eyes catches eye contact with her own icy blue ones, and the warm, hot tears that she feels threaten to fall from her eyes with every careful blink that she makes.

"Don't go." The soft, quiet words linger a while in the cold air, her heart seemingly breaking with every syllable that is echoed in the silent night sky, clouds of warm air coming from his lips, with are trembling in the cold, and his brown eyes are tinged with a sort of sadness and pain she never wanted to see in those beautiful pair of chocolate brown eyes. "There's two minutes left."

And somehow, those words almost convinces her to stay, and a picture flashes across her mind, one of her running up to him, crying and sobbing and hugging him tight, asking if they could just work this all out, right now, that she doesn't want to wait, that he's the best damned thing she's ever had, and she doesn't want to lose him, can't lose him, not now. Not ever.

Then she remembers that she's **Sam Puckett**, and she's supposed to be _strong_, and do what she knows is best.

So she forces herself to smile at him one last time, the fragile little smile only Carly and Freddie have ever seen, before kissing him on the lips, a small, gentle peck. It's their last kiss, no matter how small, and it's sweet and bitter, warm yet cold. She'll never forget this kiss, she promises herself fiercely, as she pulls away.

And just in time, too.

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><p>11:59<p>

It takes her all her courage to tell him the sentence that's been forming in her head. She takes a deep breath, and summons all of her strength to keep the tears from pouring out. Her voice is shaky and wobbly, and it's all she can do to keep herself from jumping back into his arms, where she knows she's safe and comfortable.

"I have to go now, Freddie, because every second we spend together now," She starts, before stopping to catch her breath, "—is borrowed time. We're living on borrowed time."

And with that outburst, she heads for the window pane, her blond hair flying as she rushes to the lift, not daring to look back, because she doesn't know if she can do so without bursting into tears.

Because, she tells herself, she doesn't want Freddie to live with the image of her crying, and forever living with the guilt that he's the reason for her tears. And if she's selfish enough, she'd admit that she doesn't want to see those innocent, beautiful brown eyes forever scarred with the haunted look of guilt and shame.

She reaches the lobby after what seems like a million years, where Lewbert takes one look at her and her red-rimmed eyes and decides she's had enough for one day.

And with a glance at the clock in the lobby on the counter, she smiles bitterly, leans against the wall and slides down onto the floor, hugging her legs to her chest.

12:00

The carefully built up dam of Samantha Joy Puckett finally comes crashing down, and she finally breaks down in loud, unrestrained tears, because their borrowed time is up, like she knew it eventually would.

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><p><strong>AN:**

**Hey! (: Sorry for the slow update, haven't been allowed to use my laptop this week because my younger brother's exams are coming up. (PFFT.)**

**I wrote this when I got back my results for Math, which I passed overall. :D Yay! **

**And I'm second in class for Geography Elective. So I'm a happy Seddie camper. :)**

**The only thing that could make me happier is if I got reviews for this! **

**PLEASEEEE? :D**


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